Have a Nice Half Life!

Say "Hi!" to a Plutonium Pellet.

You've probably heard the term "half life" before. It usually is attached to radioactive materials to tell you how long is takes to decrease it's radioactive emission to half of the starting value. It actually applies to anything that is decreased by half.

Radioactive Plutonium-244 has a half life of 80.8 million years. Uranium-238 has a half life of 4.8 billion years.

A Trump news story on the New York Times or Washington Post has a half life of maybe an hour theses days.

They're not leaks. They're a flood.

And that picture of the plutonium pellet? I've seen that same color of glowing orange a lot in the last year.

We should probably just start referring to Trump as President Plutonium. Radioactive. Everything he touches suddenly turns lethal on him. Flynn, Comey, Spicer, Bannon, Priebus, not to mention Coast Guard cadets at graduation. No place is safe from him.

Wants to Take Over the Tonight Show

The Russians, America's match as a plutonium fueled nuclear power, clearly know how to handle him. Lot's of smiles, a hearty handshake or two. Quickly placed micro tape recorders on the back of his suit, to be picked up later by Comrade Kellyannski.

The world goes agog when President Plutonium spills Israeli secret intelligence to Lavrov & Kislyak in the Oval Office. Everyone is in a panic: "What did he say???"

Then Putin says, "We'll be happy to provide you a transcript." That Vladimir, what a nice, helpful guy.

So Robert Mueller is taking over the investigation. We know that he will find rampant incompetence because it's so obvious. Anything that will stick? Probably, but we should not let our expectations get too far out in front. If incompetence alone was a crime, Paul Ryan would be in stripes already.

No, the easy targets remain Flynn and Manafort. They've already admitted to not telling about taking money from foreign governments. What they will want is immunity. And that's only possible if they rat out President Plutonium himself.

And late breaking... Senator Lindsey Graham says that the DOJ is conducting a CRIMINAL investigation. Not to be topped, President Plutonium also today reiterated his threat to pull out of NATO.

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